A slow weekend but here’s a post full of PEP!

It’s been a fairly quiet weekend for us here in the UK lab. There’s a new virus called W32/Dawin-A that appears similar to the W32/Looked family, but doesn’t seem to drop a malicious DLL in the Windows folder. That’s about as remarkable as it gets.

That’s not to say that we’ve been sitting around doing nothing, however. There’s always generic detection to work on. We’ve seen what looks like it might be a new variant of a malicious packer picked up on a few websites, and are working to make sure we continue to detect future variants proactively.

There’s also a constant stream of incoming spam samples for us to work on, and every now and then we’re treated to some of the most bizarre sentences ever constructed by man, thanks in part to a certain male enhancement campaign. Here are some of the choicest morsels from this campaign’s recent subject lines, dredged up from the darkest corners of our spam database:

First, some words of wisdom from the old masters:

A man without big _____ is like the sky without birds.envtawT

Having a big size is better than being wise.oudXExQ

Skeletor’s secret plan to win She-Ra’s heart… finally revealed:

Make your _____ a Master of Universe.OeyxFzP

Here’s one ocean that it must be quite hard to swim in:

Dive in the ocean of manhood with _____ Enlarge Patch.phFBxNo

Now here’s an email from someone with what must be the most unique superhero power in all fiction:

Tell me how many inches you’ve got and I will tell you who you are.GaizVIF

Hughes and Kipling were wrong:

Blue whale’s _____ is 3 meters because he tried _____ Enlarge Patch.UIGlKUw

Even an elephant had a small _____ before he tried _____ Enlarge Patch.zGyRljQ

The difference between small and far away still eludes these spammers:

Your _____ will be the Moon when the other men’s _______ will be just the stars.WOytPsf

Every cloud has a silver lining, or in this case, a raspberry centre:

The only plus of a small _____ is that it can fit in a do-nut.mWXnlrm

Finally, a selection of subject lines so bizarre that I can only describe them as being from the “twisted brainwrong of a one-off man-mental” department:

Now sailors can climb your _____ to see the land.BEkwKxP

Your _____ can be so big your friends can play football on it.TtGgMVY

Enlarge your _____ and cover her world with it.CiFpwLZ

A small _____ looks after sex like a squeezed lemon.RXBABZh

Your _____ will be so big the whole hockey team can fit there.EMwdcbc

Now your _____ can serve as the lighthouse in the open sea.fPuODtz

If you feel like an elf with that small _____.FBVRVnS

You can enlarge your nose to make women think that you have a big _____, but it’s easier to enlarge your _____.FmIAsvE

Now your _____ will fit only in pelican’s mouth.TwNVwNy