Depressing Saturday spam

Sitting here in the lab on a sunny Saturday while friends and family are out and about enjoying themselves is, in some respects, pretty miserable. No matter how much you enjoy your job, you’d obviously rather be out enjoying the weekend with everyone else. It’s doubly harsh though when the first thing I see in our spam queues this morning is a bunch of emails telling me I’m hideously fat, drowning in debt and rubbish in bed. How utterly depressing.

Fortunately the spammers offer solutions to cheer me up, all I need to do is fork out a load of cash for piles of Anatrim, Hoodia and Viagra (that’s really not going to work in my case) and my life will turn around. Those of you wondering how I can afford the meds, it’s easy, I’ve got countless offers of unsecured personal loans of up to $50,000 which can be in my bank account by lunchtime.

Spammers play on people’s insecurities, and offer miracle cures to take away all our woes. Spend 20 minutes looking through our queues here and you’ll see:

  • Amazing work-from-home job offers for long suffering, downtrodden employees
  • Miracle diet patches that busily work away losing you pounds while you eat whatever you like
  • Instant hair in a can for the follicly challenged
  • Unbelievable ‘zero to hero’ ED & growth meds for the unfortunately endowed
  • Guaranteed credit for those who’ve been turned away by everyone else
  • Designer bags and watches on a budget for anyone ashamed of their more affordable high street brands.

A huge proportion of the emails we see aim to bring in the cash by chipping away at peoples’ self esteem, and then offering a solution for a price. This must be a fruitful method for the spammers, otherwise they wouldn’t continue to send out these mails by the truckload on a daily basis.

Our advice, as ever, is never to buy any goods advertised via spam. Why not take the Sophos Spam Pledge, help us to stop the spammers in their tracks. And you’d really be doing me a favour too, I’m not sure how many more depressing spam emails I can take 😉

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