Guest blog: Google Chrome, paint splats and Mac romance

"Guest blogger Carole Theriault has wrestled control of the Clu-blog away from me for a few minutes to let off some steam. Over to you Carole…"

Carole Theriault
I am having a bad day today. And it is only early afternoon. Gaaawwwwd.

Even in the heady world of security software – we all know that it is oh-so-trendy, so hip, so now – there are occasions when malaise hits you repeatedly in the face like the cold wet tail of a slimy fish.

Desperate to ctfu (b)*, I have turned to a spot of public venting in the hope that the exercise soothes my despondent soul. And looking around for topics, two land on my lap, courtesy of friendly colleagues that sowed a tiny seed of hope that all will be ok.

Use Google Chrome – faster than a paint splat

Our friends at Google are banking on the speed of Chrome as its main feature to steal market share from its rivals.

Recently published stats from Net Applications show that Google Chrome’s market share is now almost 7%, up from less than 2% last year.

Chrome, along with Firebox and Safari, are eating away at IE’s piece of the pie, still the fattest by far, at 60%. Could it be that the world has realised that diversity is best when trying to subvert the evil bad guys in cyberville?

So, the race is on. And Google has just issued a teaser for their upcoming “Chrome Fast” campaign, which attempts to show just how speedy Chrome is in a truly cute, innovative way.

They are timing Chrome’s loading time against a number of speed-related tests, requiring ballistic, pyrotechnic and Tesla coil expertise.

Experiments include using a homemade potato gun to spew out chips at lightning speeds (turns out, the Idaho potato is best). Another involves dropping a boot onto a double bass to strike a note on a keytar which eventually shoots hot pink goop into a huge mould of a human ear…. Ok, so it is hard to picture. Just watch it, and tell me you are not looking forward to seeing the actual videos when they are released:

Date me – I am a Mac user!

The Guardian today had a lovely piece about a new dating service exclusively available on the Mac platform, called Cupidtino.


How cute is that? Fine-knit-sweater-sporting thirty-somethings – he with a 46-hour stubble and she with media glasses and rose lip gloss – can chat online about cool new Mac features as they circle around the issue of whether the other is hot and cool enough to date.

Actually, it seems that owning iPhones do have an impact on general sexiness. According to this article, Phones 4U ran a survey where 54% of the 1500 women surveyed said they would be more likely to date a man if he had an iPhone. So there you are you single boys out there, flash that thing around!

I wonder if Mac-loving couples who meet via Cupidtino will still be living in denial that there’s a danger of spreading viruses? Hmm.

This does raise the question, of course, of how important is the flavour of technology is in today’s budding relationships.

I admit to being big in love with my Mac – largely a design thing (how shallow am I?), but my other half has no such allegiances, though he would probably lean towards some obscure Unix flavour. He hates using my Macbook, which suits me just fine. I don’t necessarily want his mitts on my baby.

I wonder will Mac lovers be able to respect the toys of the other even though they might covet them, oh so much? We will need to wait for Cupidtino launch to find out..

You know what? I feel better. Thanks Google and Apple for making my day a little brighter.

* cheer the f*** up (basically).

Update: Google has now released its advert. Pretty impressive!