When I was watching the movie 2012, I was so jealous of those selected people who were to be saved from the coming disaster.
In real life, I’ve always thought that if such a cataclysmic event was to happen, you can pretty much bet your dog that I definitely won’t be on the list of VIPs. I know I am not as smart as those PhD scientists and I can’t even afford a BMW much less a ticket to the one of those life-saving boats. I don’t know any relatives of leaders of nations (well, that’s not true, actually I do know US President Obama – it’s just that he doesn’t know me… at least not yet).
However, I suddenly found out I am the special one after receiving this email from Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth:
Why doesn’t the Professor know my name? I can’t remember any Professor friend of mine.
How are you? I hope all is well with your family, friends and pets. I hope this urgent mail meets you in a perfect condition. We have no time to waste regarding the information I am about to tell you, it is an urgent and serious matter.
Well, if it is urgent, why not call me directly?
My name is Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, senior data analyst here at the CERN institute based here in Geneva CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is one of the world’s largest and most respected centres for scientific research. Its business is fundamental physics, finding out what the Universe is made of and how it works. You may have seen on the news that, in recent days, our Large Hadron Collider machine has been colliding high-speed beams of energy in order to explore new physics and understand how the universe began. CERN have been adamant that this is safe, however I KNOW THE TRUTH.
Scare tactic? How can humanity survive if the earth does not exist any more?
The truth is that this experiment that CERN are conducting is extremely dangerous, and could cause global disaster. This experiment has a 95% of causing a black hole, thus swallowing a large area of the planet. The scientists do not want you to know this as they know it will cause panic. However, I can help you.
Really?…Or do you want me to make you rich? Professor.
I am arranging for a number of selected people to be evacuated to a safe location on an island in the South Pacific via aeroplane. You have been selected from random to take part in this evacuation, thus continuing the survival of the human race.
This is unbelievable. Now I have the responsibility to continue the survival of the human race. But, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, could I take my dog as well? Oh, and my lovely green cactus.
Please, if you are interested, email me back immediately with the following information:
Of course, Professor, I am interested. But if I am selected by you, how come don’t you know my name and other details?
Please send all emails to our official email box below,
Regards, and God bless.
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
My parents always knew I was special. This letter proves it.
PS: Why is every professor’s name sent to me called Farnsworth?