As a security professional, I’m generally happy to receive spam. Not directly into my inbox, of course, but into a special folder where I can look at it later. For, ah, research purposes only, you understand.
Call me an old traditionalist, but the “research” spams I enjoy the most are those which get the highest spam scores. Anything which Sophos Email Security clocks at 100%, for example, is going to be old-school, unreconstructed, out-there, in-your-face, no pretending, unsolicited garbage. They don’t make them like they used to.
Some of the unremittingly shameless spams don’t even bother to try to find new ways of spelling v14GR4 and luvStik, which handily means that I can actually understand them. (As a badge of honour, I refuse to become fluent in 1337. My goodness, is it really that hard to spell tricky words like ‘the’? Can you honestly not remember how to write your own name without resorting to punctuation?)
Once in a while, however, a truly memorable spam turns up. And, here at Naked Security, we received just such a message – thoughtfully addressed to all of us – to brighten up our equinox.
Even Monty Python’s Flying Circus would be impressed:
I found your e-mail adress on medical site of transplant and liver problems.
My name is Alex, I am from Ukraine. I am 30 years man, I never drank alcohol and did not smoke cigarettes, my blood is O+ and I have a good health. If you need liver transplant I am ready to give part of my liver, but I want to receive a big compensation for that...
If you do not need liver transplant, but you know somebody who need it, please send my message to this person or keep it just in case.
I’ve asked around, and none of us at Naked Security needs a liver transplant yet.
But we decided to keep the message, as Alex advised. Just in case.