Sophos Cloud Optix
A joke about passwords has won a competition for the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe.
Stand-up comedian Nick Helm was judged to have the best joke of the festival, beating a number of better-known acts. 10 comedy critics spent two weeks hunting for the best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe, putting their top 30 shortlist to a public vote.
You’re probably wondering what this joke is by now, right? Here it is..
"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
Helm describes himself as “the human car crash of light entertainment”.
If you think you know a better joke about computer security, why not leave it as a comment below? Who knows, maybe you’ll be making your debut at Edinburgh next year.
A highly exclusive Naked Security t-shirt is up for grabs for whatever we decide is the best entry.
Hat-tip: BBC News via Naked Security reader Barry McCauley
Last one out hit the start button.
I entered "penis" as a password once. The computer rejected it with "password error, not long enough"…
Pahaaaaa !!
LOL! That's WAY more funny
"I then tried to use 'biggerpenis' and computer rejected that with HTTP: 413 Request Entity Too Large"
xD, Nice one
lol Agree thats funnier
Many of these jokes inculding the one by the comdeian I believe have been around Facebook for months, at least. Arent the jokes meant to be orginal in the judging?
My thoughts exactly.
And funny……
Actually, the Snow White one's been around since the early 90's at least… I believe the first time I heard it was on a sysadmin usenet posting. The '8 characters' bit is telling, as back then, passwords on Unix mainframes were actually limited to 8 characters. I don't think this has been the case now for years….
Nick is one of the judges cousins.
Norton Antivirus and Internet Security is like Durex Condoms, It doesn't let anything in but also doesn't let anything out as well. "Not Antivirus for the plain Joe out there."
I was prompted for stronger password so I entered " My Biceps " .. Wasn't allowed space though!
I heard this joke in the bar quite some time ago – 2009, I think – told as a "blonde joke".
We laughed but that was it. Guess British humor is going the way of the British auto industry. Broken down in a pool of oil.
“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” – Jeremy S. Anderson
I set my password to "incorrect" so that Windows reminds me every time I get it wrong
better joke about computer security: MSIE6?
Very funny, some people don't get it I'm sure!
<clears throat, hopes for originality>
Q: How do hackers go down the Cresta Run?
A: On a NOP sled!
Boom Boom!
(wearing blonde wig and in whiny tone): ….. and then it says, enter password and I do that and it never works no matter how many times I type it over.
Old joke: "During a recent password audit, it was found that a computer operator was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento". When asked why it was such a long password, the user said they were told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."
An oldie & a joke you can’t really tell it has to be written;
There are 10 types of people in the world those who understand binary and those who don’t.
lol, i get it
10 is 2 in binary
I, also, heard that as part of a blonde joke, about a year ago. I guess niether originality, or humor, were part of the criteria.
Like several other I have heard this joke before, but I last heard it some 8 or so years ago !! It wasn't really funny then and hasn't got any funnier with maturity. I'd hate to hear what the other jokes were that were not as "good" as this one. I'm cringing at the mere thought of it.
The house was burning and a geek tried to protect himself using his computer.
"Why did you do that?" His friend asked.
"Cause my computer have a firewall so it can defend me against fires!" he answered
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to phish and he'll use your credit card to pay for dinner."
A real exchange:
Dear Helpdesk,
I'd like to know where and how I can change the password. Do I have to appear in person?
Dear User,
please use the following link to change your password …
Dear Helpdesk,
I have already tried, it can't be changed! It says, user name (e.g. Monday1) invalid. What's the reason? Why can't the password be changed?
(Internal comment by Helpdesk: Because today is Thursday?)
Joke: Gregory D. Evans – "World's No. 1 Hacker"
bwahaahhaahahhaaa
What did one switch say to the other when it went down?
At least you're not infected like I am.
Mac OS X Lion accepts any password when authenticating via LDAP. What a joke.
Adam and Eve are standing in front of a computer. Adam says to Eve, "Don't touch it, it's an Apple"
(another oldie)
I treat my password like my wife. I try to change it often…
As told by Steve Gibson: I'd tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
For a list of ways that technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.
What sits on a programmer's shoulder shouting "Pieces of seven; pieces of seven!"?
A parity bit.
Now I know what a sad geek I am; snorted so hard I hurt myself.
got my vote!!
You mean a 'parroty error"!
My teenager arrived home from school to find his password changed on his computer.
Teenager – "Mom, what's my password?"
Mom – "Clean your room."
An hour later – "MOM, what's my password?"
Mom – "Clean your room."
2 hours later – "MOM, WHAT'S MY PASSWORD?"
Mom – "cleanyourroom, all one word, no caps!"
Using Norton Antivirus is like not taking care of your dog properly. If you dont look after your dog, like using Nortons, it gets worms!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, its a hardware problem.
Dr Evil.
That's about as funny as a tacky pickup line. Give it a rest
Don't peak too soon
Need a groan after all these witticisms?
For all i-Pad users concerned about security issues Apple are marketing a couple of i-Patches.
Yeah, OK, it needs work.
It should go something like this
What do pirates need for i-Pad problems (malfunctions, security risk, etc.)?
A regular supply of i-Patches.
Here's an old Microsoft error message from the year dot.
'No keyboard detected. Press f1 to continue.'
It may be old, but it's still current. Booting Windows 7 64 bits on an Asus board, I get that today, but with F1. It ignores it so I haven't got around to "fixing" it. Maybe it's just a "feature" …
HOW I LOST MY PASSWORD IN CYBERSPACE
A rusty old keyboard and nonsense on Google,
Large fonts and indents and a Jerusalem kugel,
Stacks of bad passwords floating in space,
Where is my lost password?
I've searched all over the place….
I looked high, I looked low,
I searched under the snow.
I rebooted and defragged.
I give up.
I'm jet-lagged.
I must now save up all my nickels and dimes.
I have no more time for nonsensical rhymes.
I cannot rely on my network connector.
I must NOW install a good VIRUS PROTECTOR.
(sung to the tune of My Favourite Things with apologies to Oscar Hammerstein and Richard Rogers)
Please advise as to when I should commence laughing.
Q:How many Misrosoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just declare darkness to be the new standard.
How. many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? 8- 1 to actually change the bulb and 7 more to make sure Bill Gates recieves $1 for every light bulb ever changed…
I read an answer that was even better. It listed all eight name and D.C. Had to be eight characters and contain a capitol.
“Knock, knock”
Who’s there?
“Computer password”….
Computer password who?
An expert has predicted that computers will eventually replace paper altogether ! Well he has obviously never tried to wipe his arse with his Laptop before
What do you get it you stick an i-pad and a Playbook in a liquidiser?
Apple and Blackberry Crumble..
Waa waa waaahhhhhhhh
Elise Harris was the funniest person at the Fringe!
Passwords are like toothbrush dont allow others to use it 🙂