Ahoy, me hearties! Check your almanacks, for today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, arrr!

Ahoy, me hearties!

Check your almanacks, for today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, arrr!

I know what you’re thinking.

Why does that matter? What’s the point? How could this ever be worth covering on Naked Security?

How do you talk like a pirate, anyway?

To answer those questions, I’ll consult the officially self-appointed ITLAPD website:

Why do we need an International Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Make no mistake. We do. But it's a little hard to articulate why.

So, there is an official reason: not a very good reason, to be sure, and one supported by no explanation at all, but a reason nevertheless.

That’s enough on its own for some people, but there’s actually one genuine reason why you might want to join in, even if your first thought is that it’s an entirely silly concept. [It *is* silly. Ed.]

The reason is this: Talking Like a Pirate is surprisingly popular amongst computer techies. [Really? Are you sure? Ed.]

In other words, with almost no effort, you can probably cheer up the guys in your IT department with a single word, just by letting them know you know.

So, think of it as an extension of Sysadmin Day, when you do something, anything, to put smiles on the dials (that’s not Pirate talk, it’s just rather old-fashioned slang) of your IT staff.

After all, they’ve probably had a tough time of it lately, what with a veritable panoply of updates to deal with lately.

In the last week or so, they’ve had updates from Microsoft, Adobe, Oracle, and Apple; then updates to Microsoft’s updates; then an emergency “Fix it” for Internet Explorer; and, last night, the latest Firefox fixes.

Give it a try. It’s easy.

Just have a normal conversation, but remember these four alternative phrases, all beginning with A:

  • Instead of “hello,” say: Ahoy!
  • At the end of every statement, pause for a moment (imagine a comma), and then say: Arrr!
  • Instead of “yes,” say: Aye!
  • Instead of “goodbye,” say: Aye, aye!

Silly, indeed, but you might just cheer up the techies in the office, since they so often bear the brunt of everyone’s complaints about the inconvenience of computer security.

Whatever you do, just remember that there’s one Piratical phrase that you should avoid, no matter how humorously you might intend it.

IT staff, even those who Talk Like Pirates all the time, do not want to hear anyone saying, “Beatings will continue until morale improves.”

Not on 19 September, anyway.