Google Glass – going, going, gone…

Today – this very day, in fact – I decided it was time to look like a dork.

And not just any old dork.

I wanted to look like a trend-setting dork, a post-hipster dork, a dork that was willing to embrace dorkitude in no uncertain terms.

A dork, in fact, with a thousand quid burning a hole in his pocket, who nevertheless refused to spend £2.99 on a new razor blade.

Like this:

Almost unbidden, my mouse moved towards “Buy Now”:

Hmmm.

I have no idea which country I’m supposed to be in that prevents me buying myself a Google Glass, because I’m using Tor.

(Even a New Man needs anonymity when he’s surfing fashion sites – you never know who’s keeping their eyes on you.)

But the prognosis for Glass sounds good, with Google “working to bring devices to more countries as quickly as possible.”

Are you serious?

OK, so I’m being facetious: I don’t want to buy Google Glasses.

But if you do, you’d better be quick, because, website promise or not…

…it seems as though the Great Glass experiment is over.

The UK’s Telegraph newspaper announces that:

Google has halted sales of its much-hyped Google Glass headset in a major U-turn for the technology company.

The BBC’s Rory Cellan-Jones opines that:

There will be a lot of disgruntlement from people who invested in Google Glass smart glasses.

And the Daily Mail, that just under a month ago started a headline with the words “Google Glass is an admirable failure” (it was a quote from Steve Wozniak, apparently), today offers us:

Google kills off Glass: Firm halts sales of controversial smart eyewear - but promises a new version for consumers is coming.

So there you have it.

In mathematical terminology, the total number of Glassholes in the world is now bounded above.

You could allocate a fixed-size buffer, stuff them all in it, and it wouldn’t overflow.

For the time being, anyway.

From next week, if you want to start a fight down at the pub, you’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way, with an annoying mobile phone ringtone.